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“Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with incorruptible love.” Ephesians 6:24 NAS
Life as a tween mom is akin to an Uber driver. Our vehicle is equipped with all of the snacks, chargers and melt-downs of home. But “the middle” is off limits.
“The Middle,” where all of the important things crucial to driving and my full control of the volume lies. In the tween-age tradition of pushing boundaries, occasionally a cute little elbow will drift into the forbidden zone and bump the shifter into neutral.
My daughters and I daily lose it on each other, take jokes too far, have an absence of patience, and a slew of other things that can probably be explained by fluctuating seasons of life on all sides. But drifting into “the middle” of the vehicle ignites a completely irrational level of panic and anger in me.
I’m grieved when I lose my temper or harshly criticize my children. Though I cannot love them perfectly, I can see glimpses of how it’s supposed to be.
Shame is strong. It’s intent is to accuse. Squash it, and all of it’s distorted thoughts attempting to convince us we’re undeserving, unfixable, and dysfunctional. Because Jesus says …so what if you are?
True love is incorruptible.
“Incorruptible love.” A powerful statement no human being is capable of living up to apart from Christ. We are all, by nature, corrupted.
My flip out over “the middle” being breached ignites a firestorm, but it always ends in laughter. The reactions are too ridiculous not to re-enact.
Grace is the key to unlocking incorruptible love. It will flow throughout our lives and look foreign to many. Grace doesn’t play favorites. Jesus came to save us all from the power of sin. Incorruptible love, this side of heaven, is extending grace to ourselves and others.
As a mother, there are many days that end to the tune of my apologies. For losing my temper, criticizing, or spending too much time gazing into my phone instead of connecting with my kids. The routine of apologizing creates an atmosphere of grace.
There’s nothing Jesus holds over our heads and says …oh, not that one. You’ll pay for that one. I can’t forgive you for that one. We can and should grow and get better. But Grace should be our number one priority.
“Always forgiven,” I assure my girls, “and never loved less.”
That’s how we’re loved. By Love, incorruptible.
Love the concept. I”m struggling with all sorts of this – maybe you have some thoughts: I’ve been divorced just over a year. My 3 kids (all boys) live primarily with their mom. My oldest – now a teen – says he doesn’t want to talk to, hear from, or acknowledge me. He says that to come to my place on my parenting time is me “forcing him” and he doesn’t care that I’m his dad. I’m not sure how much of this is him being a teen; coming from a place of hurt and anger (for instance, not letting him stay ‘home’ when he wants, etc.
So, the relationship is strained, and I fear that this adds to strained relations with me and the others (who want and love to come; my ‘buttons can be pushed, and then I respond out of hurt/anger/bitterness/etc); and him with his brothers.
Should I give him his space, allow him to come when he wants so that I can try and parent from a saner place – or insist on coming per the plan (His mother says that she strongly encourages him, but won’t force him)
– Josh J.
I don’t think apologizing all the time is good either, being firm is necessary as a parent, learning to live in the fruit of the Spirit helps.
[…] Incorruptible Love from Sunny & 80 talks about loving our tweens. It’s not easy sometimes. […]